Saturday, December 25, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

Pet Peeve #4

Someone asks you to do them a favor.... a very timely favor that uses your talents. Of course it's something you absolutely NO desire to perform ... at least for them. and for free.

And once you do it. They aren't happy with it- even though they never gave you any real direction in the first place and then they try to tell you how it needs to be done.

this is how certain crimes are committed.

I'm not saying i support those crimes.
I'm saying how i know their origins

Monday, December 13, 2010

For everone's viewing pleasure

whether you are in utah or not.

this is an accurate depiction of the local news scare we had
here just before thanksgiving.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I've said it before and

i'll say it again.

Original instant oatmeal is awful.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

this is a little premature

but i am just so grateful for holidays.
Mostly because i get a day off of school....
which then gives me time to catch up on all my homework.

it it sucking the life out of me.

Friday, October 22, 2010

What is more annoying?

Whistling non-stop?
OR
Only stopping to wish everyone a good morning and being so cheerful
that cartoon song birds appear to circle your head?

HOW ABOUT BOTH.

Congratulations.

You are in fact the most annoying person on the planet.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

If i ever get a tatoo

this is what i'm sure i would do.


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Friday, October 1, 2010

Today i attended a lecture and heard

the most profound words known to the world:


"Being a human is an incredibly complex and hard thing."

Mmmmm, I guess. I mean, i haven't had too hard of a time breathing and watching tv.

Then she added,

"Well, an incredibly hard and complex thing to do well."


True that.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

You know what sounds good for

Breakfast?

















someone's partially eaten dough nut. Mmmmm.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

mommy or daddy =

Creepiest nicknames in the world.

Go see a therapist for your unresolved issues. Then we can talk.

Honorable Mentions:
Lover
Baby Cheeks or Sweet Cheeks

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Nothing can ruin a movie quite like a

laugher.
What is a laugher?

Laugher


- (noun)

1. an extremely annoying person who laughs at literally EVERY line in a movie.
The definite cause is not known, but the results of multiple movie goings and straight stereotyping suggests the laughter springs from deep insecurity and need for attention or

pure insanity.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

There's a BAT in the office!




LITERALLY.















We need you dwight.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Sitting in class

the girl popping her gum next to me (noooooo) leans over,

"do you have a pen i could borrow?"

I look at her, "um....?" and rummage through my bag, trying to find a pen i won't care if i ever get back. I was low in supply but i found,

"i have a pencil..." offering it over in her direction.

She rolls her eyes and groans, " weeeellllll, I guess that will work."

PHEW!!! Consider me relieved. I was so nervous i wouldn't be able to supply you with any acceptable form of writing instrument- which (not surprisingly) you did not give back.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What else is there to say

but the first week of class is always the worst.

i wish people would stop coming to class already so i can get a parking spot.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I know that fish has

many good things in it that helps to make the body good-
BUT- Stop heating it up in the breakroom.

It makes everyone want to die.


Friday, August 6, 2010

The comapny i work for provides

drinks and treats in bulk (so they are in big boxes) for everyone and are stored in the cupboards directly behind where my co worker and i sit.

I walked in today and saw a large box that used to hold an assortment of chips sitting by my chair which made me angry because:

1. EVERYONE NEEDS TO THROW AWAY THEIR OWN TRASH. When you take the last items in a box, throw the box away. Don't just throw it on the floor by my desk for me to do it for you. You lazy worthless sack. There is a garbage can literally 6 feet away.

2. This variety assortment contained 20 bags yesterday and among them were some cheetos- one of which i wanted for breakfast.
So thanks a whole lot.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I sleep better knowing there

are people out there like Antoine.



And now-
Once More with Feeling!
It's worth the short wait in the beginning.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Might as well figure out

What is your secret talent?

What is your secret talent?

According to our experts your secret talent is:

You can identify 5 different types of cabbabge by their smell

Find out what your secret talent is at QuizTank.com

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Get ready to

Pump yo fist Thursday!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

There are so many horrible noises in this world.

The top 5 i am really really sicking of hearing are people:

1. hawking a loogie from their throat
(this makes me feel like i need to take a shower).

2. burping
(gross. i just hate it).

3. clipping their fingernails
(maybe i am weird, but for some reason this creeps me out).

4. breathing heavily through their mouth & noise
while eating & smacking lips
(you sound like you are going to overheat and die and just hearing it makes me want to die too).

And... worst noise ever i am so SICK of hearing is people:

5. letting their babies cry in the movie theater.
This really has got to stop!
First of all-your baby didn't pay for a ticket. So they are a moocher and shouldn't even be there.
Second-It is annoying and inconsiderate. I'm pretty sure there people in the audience who were courteous enough to get a baby sitter, and so now we all hate you for ruining our experience.

Third-TAKE THEM OUT. you bumping them up and down on your knee is not going to stop their noises for the duration of the movie. Plus, that is also distracting.

and

Forth
-when i rule the world, babies will not be allowed in theaters.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

it's burger thursday.

Yes. it is just like it sounds.
I will be eating a burger this day because it is in fact, a Thursday.

"but... why kajsia, why? Why a burger? and why Thursday? you ask.

Well my good person because burgers are delicious...and it's Thursday.

Thursday is the day before Friday-the day i celebrate by shoving my face full of greasy items that i don't cook myself that the weekend is here! Why not get a head start and eat some on Thursday?
[although i will have to cook these]
It gives me the strength to wake up one more day, go to work and survive.

"What kind of burger?" you ask again.
A hashbrown bacon cheese onion (whatever is left in the fridge) stuffed burger.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I figured the romantics

are most likely consumed by their daily acts of frolicking through the fields holding one another's hands and eye gazing to realize all the craziness around them... but according to the poll-

Love makes the world go round.

Ok then.

I will now assemble a crafty and mischievous plot to take over the world.
By DESTROYING love.
Mwahahahahahahahaha.
right after i watch some tv.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The world is a mess.

And i need to rule it.

Or maybe we can fix it.
But how?
The first step is to figure out the most powerful force in this world (so we can come up with a diabolical plan and save the world).

Love?
Weapons?
Money?
Nature?

This is where i am hung up. After talking to many different people and getting many different answers i turn to you- the deep thinking and ever truthful blogging world.

What do you think makes the world go round? (poll on the right)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A nice reminder

that it's the little things in life that really make you go, "WOAH" and question what it all means.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Now that my summer class is over

i've had time to be seduced by the power of persuasion,
advertising and consumerism.

The top 3 purchases made this week (so far) include:



3. Nail polish. It was greatly needed.







2. Chick Fil A Kid's Meal. yum.







1. Memory Foam Pillow.
It will change your life. It has changed mine.

Friday, June 18, 2010

If you don't got one

Then you're a fool!




I NEED a pack of silly bandz. or four.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

When i'm feeling sad

this pictures captures exactly how i feel.


and then makes me laugh my face off.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Some of you may not know that

my day job requires me to act as a moderator for a forum. Part of this job involves me (and my co-worker) answering emails and helping members who are having issues with their account.

Today i received this gem:
(do not read if you find curse words and excessive puncutation offensive)

Subject: Registration SHIT!

Holy Crap! Have spent 45 minutes trying SIMPLY to choose a new password. Username = G**g. Old Password =********. Have tried and tried and tried. What the hell is the numeric solution to this equation: III - X = __________???? Why the hell are you using ROMAN NUMERALS. This is bull shit. Third time I have had to go through this crap on ***.com. Have NEVER encountered this kind of bull on ANY forum. About done with this forum. HURRY UP AND RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

My response:
Your password has been reset to "password." Please try logging in, and if successful, reset your password for security reasons. We are always happy to help our forum members and ask that you speak to us with courtesy and respect.

User Support

What i wanted to say:
GO *DIE IN A HOLE.


*this is not actually a death threat. I just think he shouldn't be allowed near a computer or the human race.


Monday, May 24, 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like


8:00 am -----------------Arrive at work.
8:00-8:27 am ----------Check work emails, reply, cc, delete etc.
8:27-8:30 am ----------Gather supplies for paint class.
8:35 am -----------------Walk down to lobby of building.
8:35-8:37 am ----------Stare in awe of snow covered car with mouth gaping open (*see picture below).
8:37-8:38 am ----------Realize i don't have a scraper in my car

(since I didn't think i would need to use one until you know, winter)

8:39 am -----------------Walk back up the stairs to my desk.



i'm not going to class.


Monday, May 17, 2010

Pet Peeve #12

Slurping the last particles of your drink through a straw.



It's annoying and everyone around you wants to take that straw and shove it up your...

just don't do it.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The best way to

start the day.


pizza pizza.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Show kajsia the way through

her summer painting class to summer fun!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

With finals approaching

i wanted to share the diet i will be starting.

The Candy Bar Diet.


That's right. I learned from "Psychology Today,"
"For a quick mental performance booster, eat 85 grams—about two chocolate bars—15 minutes before a test or any time you need a little extra focus."

Results: brilliance, heightened performance, boost in spirits, pain relief and random bouts of happiness with a sense of calmness.

Doctor prescribed







Thursday, April 15, 2010

best birthday gift ever

Just bringing "a little bit of life and laughter into kids’ lives" is what they are all about.
Scary Birthday Clown for Hire: Evil Clown Stalks Kids for You | The News is NowPublic.com

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I have officially been accepted into

the Secondary Education Program and with that comes the demand for a background check (done via Internet), and digital fingerprinting.

I proceed to go to a district building where i pay my fee and am assisted to the waiting area where only a man with a little girl are sitting. Another enters the building. He also pays his fees and is told there are two people ahead and of him in line and is then directed to the waiting area where he sees the other man and me (i know he see me because i give a "hey- welcome to the waiting area" face and he gives a slight nod) sits, and turns his back to me.

The digital
fingerprinting lady comes out and calls "next!" The man and his daughter go in the room and we continue to wait. 10 minutes passes, the finger printing is done and it is time for the "next!"

I stand up
but before i can get to the entrance- the slight nod guy leaps up, practically knocking over two chairs, and disappears into what i know to be MY time slot.

What is going on?


I thought we were living in a society where social rules are held to the highest esteem and a sense of community and common courtesy prevails.
Apparently slight nod guy feels differently.

A deeper concerning question comes to mind: Is this the kind of person we want teaching young impressionable children?(how do i know he is also going to be a teacher? We had the same University papers that needed signing) I don't think so.

I wish
his fingerprinting (or a background check) could show the really important things about a person like-
whether or not they signal when changing lanes
or
hold the door open for someone when their arms are full
or
if they end all calls before approaching any sort of teller
or of course,
If they butt in line.

I feel Nathaniel Hawthorne and Puritans really knew a thing or two about punishment, so in my perfect world we would all have to abide by...
Scarlet Letter Ruling


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

In efforts to become more personal & let the world know i am not actually

some creepy old person. It is time to get a profile picture.

I'm what you'd call a newbie. To find what is socially acceptable and popular I scanned various dating/marketing/networking sites, given that from a logical standpoint, the best pictures will be located where people are actively seeking attention and human interaction.

From them, I have created

5 (five) simple guidelines
(that will no doubt produce the perfect profile picture)

  1. Take it yourself.
    There is nothing more attractive than the extended arm included inside your photo.

  2. Make sure you have crappy lighting.
    The crappier, the better.

  3. Choose a weird setting that makes people asks themselves...
    where is she? is she really inside a____ ?(fill in the blank)

  4. Make a completely unnatural face.
    who wants to see what you really look like? Apparently no one. It is much better to have pouty lips, looking in the wrong direction, or even wearing a mask.

  5. When in doubt, add some sort interesting pose, or hand gesture.
    This will perhaps distract from your posed face and ensure some sort of personality is present.

and, voila!


Wednesday, March 31, 2010

What really happened here?

Fashion trend?






























































Or a crystal light-filled water bottle gone terribly wrong?


....


wait for it

....



























that's right.
it was the bottle.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I just know there is one store out there

that would never let me down, and that is the

Snoopermarket

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Don't get me wrong.

I love Target, and i am not usually a fan of children yelling in large stores- but as i walked down isle after candy isle looking for the beloved Kit Kat, i felt exactly like the little girl sitting in the front of a red cart calling desperately,

KIT KAT..... WHERE ARE YOU?"

















Preferably, i was looking for some festive kitkats, but after a certain point, i would take anything. Even Snack size.
I searched and searched. I even looked at check-out stations.
But to no avail.

Target, you have let me down.

Monday, March 22, 2010

There is one candy bar

of which i will never understand the appeal.
That candy bar is the BIG HUNK.





















It claims the fame of being "health" conscious for containing a lower fat content (3 grams of fat for a generous 2-ounce bar!) than other good tasting and delicious candy bars. This lack of content is promoted by BIG HUNK in highlighted yellow and red type.

REALLY? A LOW FAT CANDY BAR? Sounds yummy to me.

Blah. (made in a gross vomit voice)

I just think if you are going to eat a treat, it should at least taste good. Low fat or not.

And have you ever tasted a big hunk?
It tastes like roasted chunky mucus rather than "terrific chewy nougat with peanuts."

The day we start accepting revolting LOW FAT candy bars as a satisfactory dessert is the day i no longer wish to be a part of, "The FATTEST Country in the World,"
or third.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Having the sun shine down on me























through a skylight at my work

makes me look like

an angel.

(see the halo?)






















BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M IN HELL.

(you know, because it's so hot)

Monday, March 15, 2010

The only reason i wish i could

stay home during the days.

Sneak Peek at Snoop Dogg back on 'One Life to Live'

too tired to write anything... daylight savings has taken it's toll

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Apparently, I never

















(pretend i am good at taking pictures)

HESITATE TO TACKLE THE MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEMS

even though i haven't started my homework
or paid my current bills
or cleaned up cluttered place
or emailed my boss back................

Monday, March 8, 2010

Honk if You're Hot, Bark if You're...


OH! I'm sorry.

That is INCORRECT*.


The answer the charming and oh-so desirable driver's accepting
(for chance at a lifetime of shallow existence) is: ...

wait for it ...
















UGLY. Better luck next time.



*assuming the average audience member yelled, "Not!"

Sunday, March 7, 2010

GTL Baby

Gym. Tanning. Laundry.



Of course, i don't go to the gym (too many people)
and i don't tan- literally (being a fair reddish head- for me personally- laying outside or in a man made cancer cave would be a very bad idea and a huge waste of time)
but laundry, I am ALL OVER that.
Having clean clothes is where it's at.
Am i right, or am i right?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Of course,YOUR vehicle is so important.

Not only does it need to take up 4 spaces, but they are nearest to the front of the building (aside from the visitor slots).

I just want to tell this person:

What do you want to say to these fools?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

If you are going to college

on a scholarship-good for you. I am jealous. But please be courteous of the rest of us who work full time and shoved out our hard earned money to learn from professionals.

That's right. You annoying girls in the corner that NEVER stop talking about who knows what- SHUT UP, or pay for my tuition because i am going to have to retake this class since i can't ever hear what is going on. And yes. That IS ME that is pushing your chairs from behind and giving you a constant stink eye. Can't you take a hint?

And for the record, I'm pretty sure you don't know more than the teacher in this particular class. So maybe you should pay attention too.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The way to my heart

is definitely through



I mean this in the literal sense (get your mind out of the gutter your perv), as in getting the oil changed in my car. I just HATE sitting in the tiny waiting room sitting so close to people you can smell their lack of hygiene.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Valentine's Day

is close upon us.

Some people call it "SAD" or Singles Awareness Day- but look up the Holiday's history and you won't be sad. You'll be glad you weren't persecuted by ancient Romans and martyred for marrying young lovers or helping Christian's escape the harsh wrath of angry law enforcers- depending on what story you think is true.

Despite it's history, I just don't see what could be wrong with a day that is now synonymous with gifts*, candy and chocolates.
(lick lips) YUM!
really. you don't even need the other person.

Hint* Gifts, candy and chocolates are traditionally given by a significant other to the "Valentine", but too many times they come with strings attached. So why not buy them yourself and save yourself from giving out more than you would on a non-love holiday night.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Praise the lord! (or whatever you believe in)

It's a friday.
This has been the longest week of my life!
No real reason. Nothing bad has happened. Just long and boring, like my textbooks.
boo

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I had a dream last night that

I was in Hawaii and a volcano erupted and i got 3rd degree burns on my legs and then slowly dragged myself into a tiny shed where i kept screaming, "not my face! not my face!" Once the volcano finished erupting- i searched for Mike, and you know where he was? Sitting on a park bench with my grandma completely burn free.
I thought it was weird.

Luckily, when we were in Hawaii-Maui to be exact-nothing of that dramatic sort happened.

We did see:
Colorful trees on the road to Hell, i mean Hana.



A parrot that "meowed" (which was my favorite part of the whole trip).



Mike almost taking out a nice lady on the beach.



Penguins molting.




And I met the new love of my life:

MOCHI* ICE CREAM!

*Originally created by Lotte, as Yukimi Daifuku in 1981. Lotte first made the product by using a rice starch instead of sticky rice and a type of ice milk instead of real ice cream. (also used by other companies), which began production of what is now known as mochi ice cream in the United States in 1993. There are two layers: a soft, dough-like outer mochi shell, and inner ice cream core. Flavors are dependent on brand, however, matcha (ground green tea), chocolate, and vanilla are likely to be represented (flavors of both Mikawaya and Lotte brand mochi ice creams). Strawberry, mango, and red bean paste (azuki) are also common flavors. Mochi ice cream is now an internationally recognized food. Current marketing names include Mikawaya's "Mochi Ice Cream" in the United States

I tried Strawberry and Mango.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Victoria's Secret just doesn't have the same "Ring" to it, does it?