Tuesday, April 6, 2010

In efforts to become more personal & let the world know i am not actually

some creepy old person. It is time to get a profile picture.

I'm what you'd call a newbie. To find what is socially acceptable and popular I scanned various dating/marketing/networking sites, given that from a logical standpoint, the best pictures will be located where people are actively seeking attention and human interaction.

From them, I have created

5 (five) simple guidelines
(that will no doubt produce the perfect profile picture)

  1. Take it yourself.
    There is nothing more attractive than the extended arm included inside your photo.

  2. Make sure you have crappy lighting.
    The crappier, the better.

  3. Choose a weird setting that makes people asks themselves...
    where is she? is she really inside a____ ?(fill in the blank)

  4. Make a completely unnatural face.
    who wants to see what you really look like? Apparently no one. It is much better to have pouty lips, looking in the wrong direction, or even wearing a mask.

  5. When in doubt, add some sort interesting pose, or hand gesture.
    This will perhaps distract from your posed face and ensure some sort of personality is present.

and, voila!


9 comments:

Island Gal said...

Nice tip!!

Nekkid Chicken said...

ROFL

For a woman model, open your slightly-parted yet pouty lips.

For a man model, scowl and knit eyebrows together, one hand on taunt tummy.

You crack me up!

Craig Rowley said...

Haha, this is just spectacular! Well done.

kristen said...

I'm so glad you did a post on this and included tips. Haha. What a great profile picture. And my favorite is that it was taken in the bathroom.

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Sharon said...

Hey! That's a hoot! I took mine in the bathroom too, probably on my worst hair day and when I was all puffed out from steroids, lol!
Now I have broken a tooth, cannot have it fixed till Dr. says I can and I really look bad. All in all, it could be worse!
Have a great day!

Jack n Jill

Charlotte said...

Kajsia, this made me laugh out loud sitting at home by myself. I love it! :) I think it's an awesome picture of you. I think you have some great tips there. :)

Estera said...

loved it :D