Friday, June 13, 2008

Infotrax, How may I hurt you?

"I mean... help you!" I giggled. It wasn't really funny when you think about it. I could have potentially been talking to a money- loaded client willing to hand over some massive amount to the polite happy receptionist (yeah right.. but i can still dream). Luckily it was a laid-back employee off sight from our Orem Head Quarters.
"Well. you can start by not hurting me!" Jeff laughed.
"I'm so sorry! Oh my gosh. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just... crazy!" Luckily no one is offend and we both laughed harder despite the fact I felt like a complete idiot. What kind of strange slip of the tongue was that? When I worked in retail I had horrible thoughts all the time about how i wanted people to die in various ways to get away from me but one never slipped out. Since coming to Infotrax in 2006 I have been much happier, at least I think I am. Maybe I have some subconscious death wish for others. Or maybe it could have something to do with that the fact that i was reading and the word, "hurt" was in the sentence i read prior to picking up the phone.
I do frequently answer, "InfoTRUCKS, how may i help you?" but i don't have any explanation for that one.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I hope not, unless you like incessant loud chirping coming from the ceiling in your bathroom. It’s irritating… and weird and makes for an unsettling bathroom visit. Plus it smells like a zoo in there (more than usual at least). Why? A crazy (I'm guessing drunk) bird decided to fly up a vent on the side of the house and make a nest and now her babies vocal chords are growing along with their skeletons from her never-ending need to feed them. They love to make abrupt loud noises causing randomly spaced disturbances throughout the 1st level of my parent’s home. The worst part is as i mentioned earlier- the smell. It smells like something to the effect of droppings, bad breath, dirty feet and sewage. I’m no animal hater, but these birds need to get out away from our previous peaceful restroom. My dad is going to carefully pry them from the space, after which I will scatter air fresheners throughout the house to regain control of the odor and live happily ever after.

(Not actual picture of bird- but it is the right Species)

Monday, June 2, 2008

The Windsheild Warning

Last Sunday while driving home from St. George Mike and i got pulled over by a power-infused or really bored police officer. We instantly rolled down the windows smiled angelically and silently hoped, "PLEASE BE OUR FRIEND." The cop arrogantly asked for the registration and insurance while pushing up his sun glasses- pleased with himself, as if he has caught some evil genius duo that has been wrecking havoc on the peaceful city of Filmore rather than two young adults singing in the car ignorant to his existence. We hand him the proper papers. He smirks, haughtily grabs at them and waddles back to his car (his clothes were rather tight). We whisper among ourselves hoping he wants to have some fun and scare us a little-but when we see him approaching with more papers in hand and we hang our heads. He informs me i have a warning for the crack in my windshield that is so vast i will never pass registration's emission and inspections. I told him i just went to jiffy lube where i was told the crack was fine and had it filled (which is actually true). He gruffed with hands his ample hips, "It won't pass," and i retorted -slightly annoyed at his implied superiority- "OK," and we were on our way rolling our eyes until they fell out of their sockets, well... almost.

If only i had new vibrant hair that would have caught his attention and mesmerized him into not being so incredibly anal. Oh well. At least i have this hair now- and it looks like this (Thanks Ces). Which if you can't tell the difference from before- is much redder and darker.... and that face is supposed to be saying, "Look at this: it's my new hair." Not the, "Man, i need a straw to suck some air in" which it could be mistaken for.