Friday, January 2, 2009

"Happy" New Year

As the new year begins it's said to be the time of reflection - the time for writing down goals and "reachable" aspirations. The time to dedicate yourself to perhaps actually change a bad habit or two.
For example- stop being forgetful, stop being so clumsy (pay attention to what I'm doing). Or there is always the staple: finally start to jog even though it's 30 below outside.

I woke up feeling like i could perhaps be a better, classier, more "put-together" version of myself. Maybe.

Then i went to work (was the only one there) and did the following:
sat in the dark
took down the Christmas decorations
realized i forgot my breakfast
found a random strawberries and cream oatmeal packet i must not have used another morning
got exited- fixed it
spilled it all over the break room floor and water dispenser (i'm still not sure exactly how this happened... ghosts? magic?)
cleaned it up because i am not like other sickos who enjoy leaving their messes for others (a.k.a ME) to later gag on and inevitably clean up.
found ANOTHER (yay! can you believe it?) spare oatmeal packet labeled "original" flavor.
cooked it.
took a bite.
Then another.
Decided "original" flavor is actually the sickest thing on the planet- as far as instant oatmeal breakfast packets go.
felt no human should ever have to suffer through that, and contemplated who would actually choose to buy such rancid food.
throw bowl away.
sat saddened at desk...
got over it and ate a granola bar.

I guess this won't as easy as i thought.


whitney said...

man. sounds like my goals. be a nicer person. then every where i go i want to hurt someone. i should just give up. and yes i still love you guys even though you dont have children. hell you've been married what... a day.. i will give you five years. hehe.

Maureen said...

I love how you make me laugh. I agree...original oatmeal SUCKS! It is terrible. I like maple and brown sugar....just in case you wanted to know.

Jiles The Great said...

Wow, I'm sorry about your oatmeal. :-( Your story is more exciting than mine...the only thing I did was try to set a record for the most episodes of Buffy watched in one day...7. It would have been more, but since I get them from Netflix I ran out of episodes and watched Scrubs instead. Which was no loss since Scrubs is awesome. The end.

Charlotte said...

You are hilarious! Too bad I missed this morning at work...sounds like it was very exciting. And I totally agree about original oatmeal. Does anyone really like that stuff?! Cause it is gross. So they shouldn't.