stinkpot

Everything sounds better when it's

2012-01-30T15:46:00.000-08:00

said by a cat made up of 13 lines.

While Mike does this:

2012-01-27T13:33:00.000-08:00

I do this:

Literally.

He is running, sweating, and being active-while i am sitting on my keester thinking, "Ahh. this is the life."

Now, i don't want to say one is better than the other... but drawing is way better than indoor soccer. Way better- for all these reasons:

You don't sweat when you draw.
You don't run into people when you draw. You don't have to touch ANYONE.
For this reason alone everyone should love to draw.
You don't suffer injuries when you draw- unless you eat your graphite pencil and get lead poisoning... but i have never heard of that happening.
You don't get yelled at or feel the need to shout obscene commands to people, or suffer from bouts of delirious anger. Drawing is fun, and relaxing. If anything i find myself saying softly to myself, "I am so happy... so so so happy."
No one feels sad after they finish a drawing- unlike in soccer: there is always a winner, and sadly- always a loser.

If you still like soccer better than drawing i guess that is ok. We can still be friends. But we will have to agree to disagree on this one.

I just needed a laugh today.

2012-01-23T15:19:00.001-08:00

and this is where i found it.

For those of you who don't know

2012-01-18T16:24:00.000-08:00

I occasionally dabble in marketing and graphic design.
When I get a magazine- instead of my first reaction being to race toward my destiny of having, "Flat abs in 10 minutes a Day, " I now linger, taking in the glory of print ads.
Here is one that perplexed me.

The slogan is, "It's your chance, embrace it."
But-- why am I supposed to rush to the store to buy this product?
So I can have the same experience of hugging a massive glass bottle (that would be cold to the bare skin) in an awkward position-all while being wrapped up in fake flowers with a ribbon across my calves and a bow on my head?
Perhaps I am showing my ignorance of popular hobbies or fantasies--as this may be a real "thing" that people do... or maybe it's just weird.

Yeah. I think it's just weird.

On friday Mike and I decided

2012-01-16T13:14:00.000-08:00

to treat ourselves to a restaurant franchise meal.

We got to Applebee's around 6:20 and saw that much to our dismay, we weren't the only one's with a hankering for some nourishment.

We asked how long the wait would be-and decided it wasn't worth it.

We turned to exit the building exactly as an elderly woman stopped (what i can only assume) to take a rest from the treacherous stairs she had just descended and blocked the only way out.We patiently waited for her to once again move, and when there was an opening Mike expertly slipped through. I attempted to follow but I underestimated her girth and exhaustion, and was once again trapped and she turned and waited for the rest of her party.

The idea crossed my mind to simple say, "excuse me," and go on through, but as i was about to put my plan into action, she was joined by another female who attempted to say something to her, but was met with an ear perceiving, "WHAT?"

I decided it was best to just wait out the storm.
I saw the rest of her party yet to join her as an older gentleman started walking down the stairs to the right near the exit.
I turned and smiled to myself thinking, "Oh my, I might as well settle in for a bit," and put my hands in my coat pockets.

Meanwhile-Mike was scared, alone, and freezing outside in the cold. He waited patiently for me and worried to the core and asking himself , "What is going on in there? Will she be alright?" (He has yet to verify these were his thoughts, but i think i know him well enough to just assume)

Back inside I stood still smiling and thinking to myself, "Oh the delicacies i will have once i leave this establishment," until i was rudely interrupted by a gruff, "Stop your smiling girly! One day you'll be old and have to walk down stairs."
I was stunned by the abrasiveness of the old man and quickly and cleverly retorted, "ummmmmmmmmmmm," as he walked through the exit.

At least I was free from the hot loud torture chamber as i saw the old lady and behind my nemesis clear the doorway. Moving with the precision of a spider and smoothness of a snack, I quietly I followed their path. Once i reached the door to freedom i saw Mike glowing in the distance- a symbol of hope and delicious food which we soon would eat.
To my right i heard a slow and LOUD (i can only assume he or those around him may have been hard of hearing as all group members too were in the senior years of life) disapproving tone repeating my previous awkward encounter, "As we were leaving...... there was a girl laughing at me.... as i walked down the stairs....."
I could no longer stand for this slandering of my character!

I shouted, "I wasn't laughing at you!" The old man looked at me and continued on his story. "I said to her, 'Stop your---"
I walked to Mike's side and repeated, "I wasn't laughing at him! I wasn't."

Two posts in one day.

2012-01-09T16:48:00.000-08:00

What a loser, right? Right.

But i just feel like i need to say that i started school again today.

Sniffle Sniffle.

Well.... this is what i've done

2012-01-09T16:41:00.000-08:00

all day.

This is the winner!
I know. no one really cares.

As my tacftful friend Josh pointed out

2011-12-29T15:41:00.001-08:00

it's time for a new profile picture.
(i believe his exact words were, "why is your picture so ugly?")

Sure, it's always hilarious to make fun of self obsessed people who love to take pictures of themselves
(as my currently profile picture does),
but i think we have all, "been there-done that," now haven't we?

I have the following gems to pick from-
(curtsey of a self portrait assignment for my drawing class)

Tell me, which do you like the best?

"mybluechin," 2011, nupastel

"Eye can see you," 2011, nupastel, pen and ink

"mmmm," 2011, india ink

"Collage self portrait," 2011, Collage, nupastel, acrylic paint, charcoal
(i know, this title is really boring)

Am i the only one

2011-12-14T16:44:00.000-08:00

who thinks this is weird?

What do you do when

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you are sick of your large soda (who knows why!) and you are sitting in your car waiting for the light to change on state street.

There are many logical options, you could:

1. Wait until you get home and dump it down the sink.
2. Find a nearby garbage can and throw it in there.
3. Give your remaining drink to someone else.
4. Just drink it anyways.
or
5. Dump (what looked like at least half ) your drink out your window onto the road..... and receive the biggest D-bag ever award just like the the Gray Ford Explorer in Orem, Utah on Nov. 9, 2011.

That's right, I'm calling you out. You disgust me.

Because two stickers would

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just look silly:

What the cover art for Breaking Dawn

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should have been:

The worst possible thing happened to me this

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morning.

I woke up, and i thought it was friday. Waaaaaaah.

Are most utah drivers

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really as bad as I think they are?

Yes. They are.

#6 on the list of Most Dangerous cities for Driving.

Time for a change

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in background.

i am so

2011-09-07T16:14:00.001-07:00

BOOOOOOORING since school started. It is awful.

I am in an online class.
I Hate it.
Isn't the whole point of an online class to be able to work at your own pace? And to not have to socialize with anyone? HELLO!

Certain assignments are due twice a week- and i have to have groups discussions all the time, AND i am graded on my group's participation.

It really is hell.
That's right. Some people think hell is a dentist chair, or being tied up in a cold freezer. But my personal hell is having to be graded on group discussions.

Look everyone!

2011-09-01T15:31:00.001-07:00

It's a full-on double rainbow!
Right here in little old utah.

In case you have forgotten what it's like, it's like this:

Feeling sad?

2011-08-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

You are in need of a special note.

Today i got a large envelope with the request,
"Please Accept Our FREE Gifts" on the outside.
Since they asked so nicely...

Now, i pass them onto you-with slight additions.

You think you love cats?

2011-08-01T08:47:00.001-07:00

No one loves them as much as she does.

It's too bad i'm so

2011-07-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

boring.

it really is unfortunate it, isn't it?

i have been searching for the answer

2011-07-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

and now i know:

Nothing says, "i love you dad"

2011-06-21T10:31:00.001-07:00

like bacon.
Happy late Father's Day.

The thing about work is that

2011-06-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

sometimes it's a lot of work. and then you go home, and have to do more work. And then you don't have time to post fascinating and clever things on your blog. Boo.

"Bacon's biggest fans are people

2011-05-23T10:43:00.001-07:00

between the ages of thirty-five and forty-nine years old..."
according to my bacon calender.

But i am 26. And i feel like i am the biggest fan in the world.
So i think that my calender has it wrong.

The only way to eat fish

2011-05-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

"They fried the fish with the bacon, and were astonished;
for no fish had ever seemed so delicious before."

-- The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

yum

If i ever have a kid, i hope he is like this!

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I LOVE HIM!

my favorite animal

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is bacon. - fran lebowitz

Looking for new ways to workout your upper body?

2011-04-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

Here are some amazing ideas.

For instance, you could:

Or perhaps:

Or even:

For major muscle burn and arm chiseling combine all 3!

CUSTOMER TESTIMONIAL:
I've done each of these- not even all together-
and seriously, my arms have never been so sore.

TRY IT TODAY.

Did anyone else watch

2011-04-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

when life gives you lemons

2011-04-12T14:04:00.001-07:00

2011-04-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend of mine had

2011-04-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

a birthday.

and i got him this:

on a shirt.

Which comes from this:

amazing video.

Which inspired me to create this:

Did you know it's

2011-03-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

Ode to Lady Gaga

2011-03-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

Energy Solutions Arena
Salt Lake City, Utah
Saturday Mach 19, 2011

St. Patrick's Day

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somebody

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make
it

STOP.

Please.

Am i petty?

2011-03-02T08:14:00.000-08:00

Of course.

Who else would get upset over someone leaving yet
ANOTHER empty box for me to throw away.

Lazy fools.

Who wants to do homework?

2011-02-16T14:23:00.000-08:00

Not me. Ever.

So to pass the time, here are some sweet bacon tid bits.

In the twelfth century, an English church promised a side of bacon to any married man who could swear before God that he has not fought with his wife for a year and a day. This is where the term, "bring home the bacon" originated.

Hmmm, i have this dream. I'm driving a bus, and my teeth start falling out. My mum is in the back, eating biscuits. Everything smells of bacon. It's weird. - Charlie, Lost

Cocoa Crisp Bacon:
Cut into thirds a pound of bacon.
Rub with 3/4 cup brown sugar, 2 tsp cocoa powder, and 1/2 tsp ground chipotle pepper.
Place on baking rack set in a foil-lined, rimmed cookie sheet.
Bake at 350 degrees for 45-60 minutes.

Mmmmm. sounds good.

My work supplies it's

2011-02-04T08:40:00.001-08:00

employees with cupboards full of snacks- supplied by the receptionists... well mostly just one. She is cool. And no, it's not me.

anyways

The office supplies: lunch every Friday, on sight massages given by the company masseuse, ski passes, tickets to sporting events, yada yada yada, and the list goes on.

The point is: these people are spoiled.

Everyone who works here is at least 18 years of age. Everyone is an adult and they are supposed to know what to do with a piece of garbage.

You can imagine my delight when i came in to this:

i guess it's too much to take the box to the garbage.

and

in case you are still wondering:
What kind of people does kajsia work with?

now you know. this was just hung up in the breakroom.

true or false.

2011-01-28T07:20:00.000-08:00

Sushi stays good in the fridge for over a week.

false.

someone come save the fridge in the breakroom!

who out there is a fan of

2011-01-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

pirate's booty?

I AM!

it's weirds me out

2011-01-14T07:27:00.000-08:00

when people have a tv... but tell me that they never watch it.

There should be a question on a psychological evaluation such as,
"Do you have a tv? and How do you feel about it?"

If the answer is-you own a tv but think tv is "stupid" so you never watch it.... i'm pretty sure that means you are a sociopath.

BACON
sat/sun Jan 8/9 - the word "bacon" comes from the German word bacho, which means buttock.

mon Jan 10 - in a 2009 British survey conducted by onpoll.com, men preferred the smell of bacon and petrol to the smell of a newborn baby.

tue Jan 11- In an interview with a fashion industry website, Kate Moss said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Said the rest of the world--bacon. Seth Meyers, SNL Weekend Update

wed Jan 12 - beef, turkey, chicken, lamb, and even goat may be used to make bacon.

thurs Jan 13 - I had rather be shut up in a very modest cottage with my books, my family, and a few old friends, dining on simple bacon, and letting the world roll on as it liked, than to occupy the most spendid post.

fri Jan 14 - Bacon is treated for trichinella, a parasitic roundworm, which is destroyed by booking, smoking, freezing, or drying.

after an intersting conversation

2011-01-06T15:07:00.000-08:00

in my art methods class about appropriate attire for teachers
and i am wondering...

As a parent what would you think if one your child's teacher's
had a large tattoo on their forearm?

Something sort of like this:

(not this actual tattoo, but a large tattoo with bright coloring)

How would feel?

I am curious as to what parents would think
-especially since i live in Utah.

on a bacon note:Vosges chocolates combine two scrumptious breakfast combination in one container of Mo's bacon chocolate chip pancake mix. Each canister contains chunks of gourmet chocolate and appplewood bacon.

Bakon Vodka

2011-01-05T10:10:00.001-08:00

made by Black Rock Spirits, is a potato vodka with added bacon flavor. It's great in bloody marys and as a barbeque marinade.

On a sad note.... the first day of a new semester has come.
Booooooo.

Mouse: Hey, he's cured!

2011-01-04T08:29:00.001-08:00

Pig: uh... never say "cured" to a pig.

-Back at the Barnyard

There are only a few

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reasons to post on your blog everyday.

You are awesome and have awesome things to say, or....

you have a daily bacon love calender and are therefore compelled to share this amazing bacon related information with the world.
Everyday.

Jan 1/2- "I'd be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees." t shirt saying

Jan 3- Bacon-cured pork lion is commonly called back bacon.

To everyone:

2010-12-25T07:57:00.000-08:00

Pet Peeve #4

2010-12-17T07:28:00.000-08:00

Someone asks you to do them a favor.... a very timely favor that uses your talents. Of course it's something you absolutely NO desire to perform ... at least for them. and for free.

And once you do it. They aren't happy with it- even though they never gave you any real direction in the first place and then they try to tell you how it needs to be done.

this is how certain crimes are committed.

I'm not saying i support those crimes.
I'm saying how i know their origins

For everone's viewing pleasure

2010-12-13T09:52:00.000-08:00

whether you are in utah or not.

this is an accurate depiction of the local news scare we had
here just before thanksgiving.

I've said it before and

2010-12-01T07:33:00.001-08:00

i'll say it again.

Original instant oatmeal is awful.

This is a little old,

2010-11-24T08:44:00.000-08:00

but i love it.

this is a little premature

2010-11-15T10:19:00.001-08:00

but i am just so grateful for holidays.
Mostly because i get a day off of school....
which then gives me time to catch up on all my homework.

it it sucking the life out of me.

please, for the love of everything

2010-10-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

What is more annoying?

2010-10-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

Whistling non-stop?
OR
Only stopping to wish everyone a good morning and being so cheerful
that cartoon song birds appear to circle your head?

HOW ABOUT BOTH.

Congratulations.

You are in fact the most annoying person on the planet.

If i ever get a tatoo

2010-10-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

this is what i'm sure i would do.

If I Had You(with Me)

2010-10-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

Today i attended a lecture and heard

2010-10-01T13:48:00.000-07:00

the most profound words known to the world:

"Being a human is an incredibly complex and hard thing."

Mmmmm, I guess. I mean, i haven't had too hard of a time breathing and watching tv.

Then she added,

"Well, an incredibly hard and complex thing to do well."

True that.

You know what sounds good for

2010-09-22T16:09:00.000-07:00

Breakfast?

someone's partially eaten dough nut. Mmmmm.

mommy or daddy =

2010-09-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

Creepiest nicknames in the world.

Go see a therapist for your unresolved issues. Then we can talk.

Honorable Mentions:
Lover
Baby Cheeks or Sweet Cheeks

Nothing can ruin a movie quite like a

2010-09-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

laugher.
What is a laugher?

Laugher

- (noun)

1. an extremely annoying person who laughs at literally EVERY line in a movie.

The definite cause is not known, but the results of multiple movie goings and straight stereotyping suggests the laughter springs from deep insecurity and need for attention or

pure insanity.

There's a BAT in the office!

2010-09-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

LITERALLY.

We need you dwight.

Sitting in class

2010-09-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

the girl popping her gum next to me (noooooo) leans over,

"do you have a pen i could borrow?"

I look at her, "um....?" and rummage through my bag, trying to find a pen i won't care if i ever get back. I was low in supply but i found,

"i have a pencil..." offering it over in her direction.

She rolls her eyes and groans, " weeeellllll, I guess that will work."

PHEW!!! Consider me relieved. I was so nervous i wouldn't be able to supply you with any acceptable form of writing instrument- which (not surprisingly) you did not give back.

What else is there to say

2010-08-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

but the first week of class is always the worst.

i wish people would stop coming to class already so i can get a parking spot.

I know that fish has

2010-08-18T13:25:00.001-07:00

many good things in it that helps to make the body good-
BUT- Stop heating it up in the breakroom.

It makes everyone want to die.

Mother of the Year Award goes to...

2010-08-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

The comapny i work for provides

2010-08-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

drinks and treats in bulk (so they are in big boxes) for everyone and are stored in the cupboards directly behind where my co worker and i sit.

I walked in today and saw a large box that used to hold an assortment of chips sitting by my chair which made me angry because:

1. EVERYONE NEEDS TO THROW AWAY THEIR OWN TRASH. When you take the last items in a box, throw the box away. Don't just throw it on the floor by my desk for me to do it for you. You lazy worthless sack. There is a garbage can literally 6 feet away.

2. This variety assortment contained 20 bags yesterday and among them were some cheetos- one of which i wanted for breakfast.
So thanks a whole lot.

I sleep better knowing there

2010-08-05T08:14:00.000-07:00

are people out there like Antoine.

And now-
Once More with Feeling!
It's worth the short wait in the beginning.

Might as well figure out

2010-07-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

What is your secret talent?

According to our experts your secret talent is:

You can identify 5 different types of cabbabge by their smell

Find out what your secret talent is at QuizTank.com

Get ready to

2010-07-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

Pump yo fist Thursday!

There are so many horrible noises in this world.

2010-07-27T09:53:00.001-07:00

The top 5 i am really really sicking of hearing are people:

1. hawking a loogie from their throat
(this makes me feel like i need to take a shower).

2. burping
(gross. i just hate it).

3. clipping their fingernails
(maybe i am weird, but for some reason this creeps me out).

4. breathing heavily through their mouth & noise
while eating & smacking lips
(you sound like you are going to overheat and die and just hearing it makes me want to die too).

And... worst noise ever i am so SICK of hearing is people:

5. letting their babies cry in the movie theater.
This really has got to stop!

First of all-your baby didn't pay for a ticket. So they are a moocher and shouldn't even be there.
Second-It is annoying and inconsiderate. I'm pretty sure there people in the audience who were courteous enough to get a baby sitter, and so now we all hate you for ruining our experience.
Third-TAKE THEM OUT. you bumping them up and down on your knee is not going to stop their noises for the duration of the movie. Plus, that is also distracting.

and

Forth-when i rule the world, babies will not be allowed in theaters.

it's burger thursday.

2010-07-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yes. it is just like it sounds.
I will be eating a burger this day because it is in fact, a Thursday.

"but... why kajsia, why? Why a burger? and why Thursday? you ask.

Well my good person because burgers are delicious...and it's Thursday.

Thursday is the day before Friday-the day i celebrate by shoving my face full of greasy items that i don't cook myself that the weekend is here! Why not get a head start and eat some on Thursday?
[although i will have to cook these]
It gives me the strength to wake up one more day, go to work and survive.

"What kind of burger?" you ask again.
A hashbrown bacon cheese onion (whatever is left in the fridge) stuffed burger.

I figured the romantics

2010-07-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

are most likely consumed by their daily acts of frolicking through the fields holding one another's hands and eye gazing to realize all the craziness around them... but according to the poll-

Love makes the world go round.

Ok then.

I will now assemble a crafty and mischievous plot to take over the world.
By DESTROYING love.
Mwahahahahahahahaha.
right after i watch some tv.

The world is a mess.

2010-07-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

And i need to rule it.

Or maybe we can fix it.
But how?
The first step is to figure out the most powerful force in this world (so we can come up with a diabolical plan and save the world).

Love?
Weapons?
Money?
Nature?

This is where i am hung up. After talking to many different people and getting many different answers i turn to you- the deep thinking and ever truthful blogging world.

What do you think makes the world go round? (poll on the right)

A nice reminder

2010-07-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

that it's the little things in life that really make you go, "WOAH" and question what it all means.

Now that my summer class is over

2010-06-30T08:25:00.001-07:00

i've had time to be seduced by the power of persuasion,
advertising and consumerism.

The top 3 purchases made this week (so far) include:

3. Nail polish. It was greatly needed.

2. Chick Fil A Kid's Meal. yum.

1. Memory Foam Pillow.
It will change your life. It has changed mine.

If you don't got one

2010-06-18T07:12:00.001-07:00

Then you're a fool!

I NEED a pack of silly bandz. or four.

When i'm feeling sad

2010-06-08T10:14:00.001-07:00

this pictures captures exactly how i feel.

and then makes me laugh my face off.

Some of you may not know that

2010-05-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

my day job requires me to act as a moderator for a forum. Part of this job involves me (and my co-worker) answering emails and helping members who are having issues with their account.

Today i received this gem:
(do not read if you find curse words and excessive puncutation offensive)

Subject: Registration SHIT!

Holy Crap! Have spent 45 minutes trying SIMPLY to choose a new password. Username = G**g. Old Password =********. Have tried and tried and tried. What the hell is the numeric solution to this equation: III - X = __________???? Why the hell are you using ROMAN NUMERALS. This is bull shit. Third time I have had to go through this crap on ***.com. Have NEVER encountered this kind of bull on ANY forum. About done with this forum. HURRY UP AND RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

My response:

Your password has been reset to "password." Please try logging in, and if successful, reset your password for security reasons. We are always happy to help our forum members and ask that you speak to us with courtesy and respect.

User Support

What i wanted to say:
GO *DIE IN A HOLE.

*this is not actually a death threat. I just think he shouldn't be allowed near a computer or the human race.

It's beginning to look a lot like

2010-05-24T12:44:00.000-07:00

8:00 am -----------------Arrive at work.
8:00-8:27 am ----------Check work emails, reply, cc, delete etc.
8:27-8:30 am ----------Gather supplies for paint class.
8:35 am -----------------Walk down to lobby of building.
8:35-8:37 am ----------Stare in awe of snow covered car with mouth gaping open (*see picture below).
8:37-8:38 am ----------Realize i don't have a scraper in my car
(since I didn't think i would need to use one until you know, winter)
8:39 am -----------------Walk back up the stairs to my desk.

i'm not going to class.

Pet Peeve #12

2010-05-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Slurping the last particles of your drink through a straw.

It's annoying and everyone around you wants to take that straw and shove it up your...

just don't do it.

The best way to

2010-05-07T08:17:00.000-07:00

start the day.

pizza pizza.

Show kajsia the way through

2010-05-04T13:01:00.001-07:00

her summer painting class to summer fun!

This is the funniest thing i have ever seen.

2010-04-29T16:28:00.000-07:00

for females.

With finals approaching

2010-04-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

i wanted to share the diet i will be starting.

The Candy Bar Diet.

That's right. I learned from "Psychology Today,"

"For a quick mental performance booster, eat 85 grams—about two chocolate bars—15 minutes before a test or any time you need a little extra focus."

Results: brilliance, heightened performance, boost in spirits, pain relief and random bouts of happiness with a sense of calmness.

Doctor prescribed

best birthday gift ever

2010-04-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

Just bringing "a little bit of life and laughter into kids’ lives" is what they are all about.
Scary Birthday Clown for Hire: Evil Clown Stalks Kids for You | The News is NowPublic.com

I have officially been accepted into

2010-04-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

the Secondary Education Program and with that comes the demand for a background check (done via Internet), and digital fingerprinting.

I proceed to go to a district building where i pay my fee and am assisted to the waiting area where only a man with a little girl are sitting. Another enters the building. He also pays his fees and is told there are two people ahead and of him in line and is then directed to the waiting area where he sees the other man and me (i know he see me because i give a "hey- welcome to the waiting area" face and he gives a slight nod) sits, and turns his back to me.

The digital fingerprinting lady comes out and calls "next!" The man and his daughter go in the room and we continue to wait. 10 minutes passes, the finger printing is done and it is time for the "next!"

I stand up but before i can get to the entrance- the slight nod guy leaps up, practically knocking over two chairs, and disappears into what i know to be MY time slot.

What is going on?

I thought we were living in a society where social rules are held to the highest esteem and a sense of community and common courtesy prevails.
Apparently slight nod guy feels differently.

A deeper concerning question comes to mind: Is this the kind of person we want teaching young impressionable children?(how do i know he is also going to be a teacher? We had the same University papers that needed signing) I don't think so.

I wish his fingerprinting (or a background check) could show the really important things about a person like-

whether or not they signal when changing lanes
or
hold the door open for someone when their arms are full
or
if they end all calls before approaching any sort of teller
or of course,
If they butt in line.

I feel Nathaniel Hawthorne and Puritans really knew a thing or two about punishment, so in my perfect world we would all have to abide by...
Scarlet Letter Ruling

In efforts to become more personal & let the world know i am not actually

2010-04-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

some creepy old person. It is time to get a profile picture.

I'm what you'd call a newbie. To find what is socially acceptable and popular I scanned various dating/marketing/networking sites, given that from a logical standpoint, the best pictures will be located where people are actively seeking attention and human interaction.

From them, I have created

5 (five) simple guidelines
(that will no doubt produce the perfect profile picture)

Take it yourself.
There is nothing more attractive than the extended arm included inside your photo.
Make sure you have crappy lighting.
The crappier, the better.
Choose a weird setting that makes people asks themselves...
where is she? is she really inside a____ ?(fill in the blank)
Make a completely unnatural face.
who wants to see what you really look like? Apparently no one. It is much better to have pouty lips, looking in the wrong direction, or even wearing a mask.
When in doubt, add some sort interesting pose, or hand gesture.
This will perhaps distract from your posed face and ensure some sort of personality is present.

and, voila!

What really happened here?

2010-03-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

Fashion trend?

Or a crystal light-filled water bottle gone terribly wrong?

....

wait for it

....

that's right.
it was the bottle.

I just know there is one store out there

2010-03-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

that would never let me down, and that is the

Snoopermarket

Don't get me wrong.

2010-03-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

I love Target, and i am not usually a fan of children yelling in large stores- but as i walked down isle after candy isle looking for the beloved Kit Kat, i felt exactly like the little girl sitting in the front of a red cart calling desperately,

KIT KAT..... WHERE ARE YOU?"

Preferably, i was looking for some festive kitkats, but after a certain point, i would take anything. Even Snack size.
I searched and searched. I even looked at check-out stations.
But to no avail.

Target, you have let me down.

There is one candy bar

2010-03-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

of which i will never understand the appeal.
That candy bar is the BIG HUNK.

It claims the fame of being "health" conscious for containing a lower fat content (3 grams of fat for a generous 2-ounce bar!) than other good tasting and delicious candy bars. This lack of content is promoted by BIG HUNK in highlighted yellow and red type.

REALLY? A LOW FAT CANDY BAR? Sounds yummy to me.

Blah. (made in a gross vomit voice)

I just think if you are going to eat a treat, it should at least taste good. Low fat or not.

And have you ever tasted a big hunk?
It tastes like roasted chunky mucus rather than "terrific chewy nougat with peanuts."

The day we start accepting revolting LOW FAT candy bars as a satisfactory dessert is the day i no longer wish to be a part of, "The FATTEST Country in the World,"
or third.

Having the sun shine down on me

2010-03-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

through a skylight at my work

makes me look like

an angel.

(see the halo?)

BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M IN HELL.

(you know, because it's so hot)

The only reason i wish i could

2010-03-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

stay home during the days.

Sneak Peek at Snoop Dogg back on 'One Life to Live'

too tired to write anything... daylight savings has taken it's toll

Sing A-Long Thursday!

2010-03-11T15:19:00.000-08:00

Apparently, I never

2010-03-10T09:27:00.001-08:00

(pretend i am good at taking pictures)

HESITATE TO TACKLE THE MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEMS

even though i haven't started my homework
or paid my current bills
or cleaned up cluttered place
or emailed my boss back................

Honk if You're Hot, Bark if You're...

2010-03-08T09:15:00.000-08:00

OH! I'm sorry.

That is INCORRECT*.

The answer the charming and oh-so desirable driver's accepting
(for chance at a lifetime of shallow existence) is: ...

wait for it ...

UGLY. Better luck next time.

*assuming the average audience member yelled, "Not!"

GTL Baby

2010-03-07T14:57:00.001-08:00

Gym. Tanning. Laundry.

Of course, i don't go to the gym (too many people)
and i don't tan- literally (being a fair reddish head- for me personally- laying outside or in a man made cancer cave would be a very bad idea and a huge waste of time)
but laundry, I am ALL OVER that.
Having clean clothes is where it's at.
Am i right, or am i right?

Of course,YOUR vehicle is so important.

2010-02-23T07:43:00.000-08:00

Not only does it need to take up 4 spaces, but they are nearest to the front of the building (aside from the visitor slots).

I just want to tell this person:

What do you want to say to these fools?

If you are going to college

2010-02-18T14:12:00.000-08:00

on a scholarship-good for you. I am jealous. But please be courteous of the rest of us who work full time and shoved out our hard earned money to learn from professionals.

That's right. You annoying girls in the corner that NEVER stop talking about who knows what- SHUT UP, or pay for my tuition because i am going to have to retake this class since i can't ever hear what is going on. And yes. That IS ME that is pushing your chairs from behind and giving you a constant stink eye. Can't you take a hint?

And for the record, I'm pretty sure you don't know more than the teacher in this particular class. So maybe you should pay attention too.

The way to my heart

2010-02-16T14:35:00.000-08:00

is definitely through

I mean this in the literal sense (get your mind out of the gutter your perv), as in getting the oil changed in my car. I just HATE sitting in the tiny waiting room sitting so close to people you can smell their lack of hygiene.